Writing Tips
for clarity and concisenessArchive for November, 2007
Avoid Repetition
Avoid repetition, as in the following excerpt from a mystery novel:
She ran to the large library, which was all tan stone, modern sloping roofs, and slipped inside. She exhaled in relief the moment she stepped inside…The library was large and modern.
In one paragraph, the unmindful writer (or editor) mentioned that the heroine took refuge in a large library with modern sloping roofs, and in the very next paragraph, repeated that the library was large and modern. This is not something so important as to bear repeating, particularly so soon and in the same words.
Unnecessary repetition annoys readers: It breaks the tension, is boring, and wastes their precious time. Here are two easy ways to weed out repetition that serves no useful purpose:
- Take the time to read what you have written out loud, paying close attention as you read.
- Ask a friend or family member to read it and alert you to repetition and any other annoyances.
For more free writing tips, guidelines, and articles, visit Treasurefield Communications.
Sentence Structure/Bad Example
A friend recently sent me this sentence:
The clients home we worked on was very pleased and called me later to make sure I understood that she was thrilled.
The home was very pleased, and called to say so? I love it! This is a perfect example of poor sentence structure. It exemplifies poor syntax–that is, the relationships between words and phrases are anything but harmonious.
This wonderful sentence also shows what can happen when the writer is in a hurry and her mind is not clear. Had she taken a deep breath or two before composing this message, or simply read it before sending it, it probably would have read something like this:
The client was very pleased. She called specifically to tell me that she was thrilled with the work we did on her home.
For more free writing tips, guidelines, and articles, visit Treasurefield Communications.
