Writing Tips
for clarity and concisenessArchive for April, 2008
Different to
Georg Muntingh, winner of the first syntax contest on this blog, alerted me that British English allows the following construction for comparisons:
There are many British words which are different to American words.
Different to looks odd to me!
Georg also sent me a link that offers some interesting details about different from, different than, and different to: http://www.bartleby.com/68/37/1837.html.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Subject/Verb
The other evening, I read this sentence in a novel:
Beyond the window was the river, the trees, the sky.
A basic rule of grammar is that a singular subject takes a singular verb, and a plural subject takes a plural verb. Since the subject of this sentence is plural (the river, the trees, the sky), it needs a plural verb. It should read like this:
Beyond the window were the river, the trees, the sky.
There are exceptions to every rule, and many exceptions to this rule. But I don’t believe that any exceptions apply in this case.
Comments?
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Adverb within verb phrase
Notice the awkwardness of the sentence below:
She was taken suddenly aback.
The problem is that this sentence violates the following rule:
When an adverb qualifies [modifies] a verb phrase, the natural place for the adverb is between the auxiliary verb and the principal verb. Chicago Manual of Style, Sec. 5.160.
In the sample sentence, “suddenly” is the adverb, “was taken aback” is the verb phrase, and “was” is the auxiliary verb–it helps the principal verb, “taken,” form its voice, tense, and mood.
So, “suddenly” is in the wrong place. When corrected, the sentence reads like this:
She was suddenly taken aback.
I think that’s much better. Do you?
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
What’s Missing Contest: Answer
Last week’s contest was to correct the sentence below:
I hung my coat on the pegs that line one wall.
When I first read this sentence, the image of a coat draped across a line of pegs on a wall came to mind. Here’s a better way to write it:
I hung my coat on one of the pegs that line a wall in the entryway.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Different From…Or is it Different Than?
According to the Chicago Manual Style, the preferred form is different from.
Not: She will find the city a very different place than the village.
But: She will find that the city is very different from the village.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
p.s. – In response to Georg’s comment, I addressed “different to” on April 12 in a separate post. You’ll find it in the Archives for April 2008, at the top right of the screen.
Possessive Pronoun with Gerund
The other day, I came across the sentence below:
I can understand you not telling him.
This is not correct. The sentence should read:
I can understand your not telling him.
Why? Because telling is a gerund, and when a pronoun precedes a gerund, the rule is to use the possessive case (your not you).
You may well ask, “What is a gerund?” In short, a gerund is a present participle used as a noun.
“Hold on there!” you say. “What is a present participle?” That’s another good question, and here’s the answer: A present participle is a verb stem with ing attached to the end of it–in this case, telling. Notice that with a present participle, the action is in progress right now.
Also notice that the participial phrase your not telling him is the object of the verb understand. In other words, it’s being used as a noun. That makes telling a gerund, and that in turn takes us full circle: the gerund telling calls for the possessive pronoun your.
Questions? Comments?
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Simplify–and also Clarify
Here is a sentence that would benefit from both weeding and clarifying:
Oil profits are being used for the purpose of buying back stocks in the oil companies, instead of developing alternatives.
To simplify this sentence, replace “for the purpose of” with “to”:
Oil profits are being used to buy back stocks in the oil companies, instead of developing alternatives.
To clarify it, change from passive voice to active voice:
Oil companies are using their huge profits to buy back their own stock, instead of investing in renewable energy alternatives.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Hint in “Find What’s Missing” Contest
No one has responded to the current contest, which is to find what’s missing from the following sentence:
I hung my coat on the pegs that line one wall.
Here’s a hint: how many pegs do you need to hang one coat?
If you are the first person to send in a corrected version of this sentence, I’ll announce your name in a blog post.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Synonyms
Using synonyms–words that have nearly the same meaning–in the same sentence is a common cause of clutter. It’s also a sign of confusion about the subtle differences in the meanings of the words. The following sentence is a clear and simple example:
The oil companies aren’t reinvesting their huge profits in ways that will reduce our oil addiction habit.
Because “addiction” and “habit” are synonyms, using both of them is overkill. Either of the following would do:
The oil companies aren’t reinvesting their huge profits in ways that will reduce our oil addiction.
The oil companies aren’t reinvesting their huge profits in ways that will reduce our oil habit.
Which word is better, “addiction” or “habit”? That is up to the writer, whose task it is to study the definitions of the two words and make a choice.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
Comparison
Here’s a frustrated sentence to ponder:
The party on Saturday was smaller and very different from the party on Friday.
“Smaller” is a comparative adjective. In the sentence above, it is trying to compare Saturday’s party to Friday’s party–but it’s failing. The problem is that “than,” the subordinate conjunction that’s used after comparative adjectives, is missing.
When corrected, the sentence reads like this:
The party on Saturday was smaller than, and very different from, the party on Friday.
Notice that I used two commas to set off “and very different from.”
By the way, adjectives have three degrees of comparision: the positive {small}, the comparative {smaller), and the superlative {smallest}.
Cheers,
Tara Treasurefield
