Writing Tips

for clarity and conciseness

Archive for repetition

Synonyms

horsesm.gifUsing synonyms–words that have nearly the same meaning–in the same sentence is a common cause of clutter. It’s also a sign of confusion about the subtle differences in the meanings of the words. The following sentence is a clear and simple example:

The oil companies aren’t reinvesting their huge profits in ways that will reduce our oil addiction habit.

Because “addiction” and “habit” are synonyms, using both of them is overkill. Either of the following would do:

The oil companies aren’t reinvesting their huge profits in ways that will reduce our oil addiction.

The oil companies aren’t reinvesting their huge profits in ways that will reduce our oil habit.

Which word is better, “addiction” or “habit”? That is up to the writer, whose task it is to study the definitions of the two words and make a choice.

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield

Treasurefield Communications

Weed Your Writing

dogHave you ever noticed that extraneous words crop up like weeds as you write? It’s a common phenomenon among writers. Here’s an example:

Her intuitive powers seem to fail when it matters most: when it comes to a guy she finds physically attractive.

Three of the words in this sentence, “it,” “comes,” and “to” are clutter. After weeding and rearranging a couple words, the sentence looks like this:

Her intuitive powers seem to fail when it matters most: when she finds a guy physically attractive.

To prevent weedy writing, review your drafts carefully, delete any words that don’t serve a useful purpose, and move words around as needed.

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield

Treasurefield Communications

Once is Enough

horseThis sentence uses two words to achieve the same purpose. One would have been enough:

Frankly, I was a little more than tired of both the anticipation and the rain, too.

I found it in a mystery novel, and the sentences around it make it clear that either “both” or “too” would do:

Frankly, I was a little more than tired of both the anticipation and the rain.

Frankly, I was a little more than tired of the anticipation–and the rain, too.

Notice that I added a dash to the sentence that ends in “too”; without the dash, it would have a different meaning:

Frankly, I was a little more than tired of the anticipation and the rain, too.

Do you see the problem? Without the dash, “too” suggests that the writer isn’t the only one who is tired of the anticipation and the rain. Judging by the context, that wasn’t the writer’s intention.

Comments?

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield
Treasurefield Communications

Avoid Repetition

taraAvoid repetition, as in the following excerpt from a mystery novel:

She ran to the large library, which was all tan stone, modern sloping roofs, and slipped inside. She exhaled in relief the moment she stepped inside…The library was large and modern.

In one paragraph, the unmindful writer (or editor) mentioned that the heroine took refuge in a large library with modern sloping roofs, and in the very next paragraph, repeated that the library was large and modern. This is not something so important as to bear repeating, particularly so soon and in the same words.

Unnecessary repetition annoys readers: It breaks the tension, is boring, and wastes their precious  time. Here are two easy ways to weed out repetition that serves no useful purpose:

  1. Take the time to read what you have written out loud, paying close attention as you read.
  2. Ask a friend or family member to read it and alert you to repetition and any other annoyances.

For more free writing tips, guidelines, and articles, visit Treasurefield Communications.