Finding the Right Words

If you have something to sell, it’s crucial to focus on finding the right words. Otherwise, the only thing that will be clear is that your thinking isn’t clear.

The example below is part of a radio commercial:

Isn’t a two-minute call worth protecting your good name?

These few words drove me nuts for days. I understood what the advertiser meant, but I also knew there was something wrong with the wording. As a result, it raised questions for me, instead of winning my confidence and prompting my action.

I finally understood that while the point of the commercial was to advertise a company that protects its customers from identity theft, this part of the message stresses the wrong words.

Here’s how I would have phrased it:

Isn’t protecting your good name worth a two-minute call?

 

For more information, visit Treasurefield Communications.

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About 123clear

I translate foggy information into plain English.
This entry was posted in clear thinking, persuasive writing, sentence structure. Bookmark the permalink.

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