Creeping Clutter

dogClutter creeps into our work, our homes, our relationships–and into our writing. Clutter crept into the following sentence:

By the time she hung up, they were on a first name basis and she felt as if she’d made a friend for life. She also felt as if that life was suddenly so much more uncomplicated.

This would be a less cluttered way to say the same thing:

By the time she hung up, they were on a first name basis and she felt as if she’d made a friend for life. She also felt as if life were suddenly much simpler.

What do you think of my suggested changes? Would you do it differently?

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield
Treasurefield Communications

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About 123clear

I translate foggy information into plain English.
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