Syntax Reflects Thinking

horseSometimes a writer puts her thoughts in writing before they are entirely clear. When this happens, awkward syntax may be the result, as in the sentence below:

If I didn’t follow this mysterious force, I felt as though I would never be happy.

See the problem? This sentence almost makes sense–but not quite. A few changes in word order clarifies the meaning:

I felt that if I didn’t follow this mysterious force, I would never be happy.

OR,

I felt as though I would never be happy if I didn’t follow this mysterious force.

Questions? Comments?

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield

Treasurefield Communications

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About 123clear

I translate foggy information into plain English.
This entry was posted in clear thinking, organization, sentence structure. Bookmark the permalink.

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