Punctuation Contest

Another contest. This time, I invite you to make the following sentence more clear by adding some punctuation and deleting one word.

The days were too short, and, strangely, tomorrow with its news reports, new bits of information, new insights, tomorrow seemed unreachable until all at once it had been there and was yesterday.

As always, I’ll publish the winner’s name in this blog.

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield

Treasurefield Communications

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About 123clear

I translate foggy information into plain English.
This entry was posted in conciseness, punctuation, sentence structure. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Punctuation Contest

  1. Rachel Boehm says:

    The days were too short. Tomorrow ,with its news reports– new bits of information, new insights– tomorrow seemed unreachable until all at once it had been there and was yesterday.

  2. almarose says:

    Are you an advocate of the Harvard comma? My current post discusses a John McCain pronouncement that could benefit from that final comma in the series.
    http://writingqueen.wordpress.com/2008/05/02/john-mccain-opposed-to-innovation/

    And then there’s an (apocryphal?) example, purportedly a book dedication “to my parents, Ayn Rand and God,” which I refer to in an earlier post. –Mary

  3. 123clear says:

    Thank you for your response, Almarose.

    I use the Harvard comma most of the time, though I know it as the “serial comma.”

    When I’m writing an article for publication, I follow the Associated Press style, which is to use the Harvard comma (serial comma) only when it is needed for clarity.

    Cheers,
    Tara

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