Skimpy Writing

For the past two weeks, I have been busy editing another book for the client of my dreams. I finished yesterday.

Though I couldn’t find time until now to post to my blog, I did find time to read mystery novels; I do some of my best reading just before bedtime, while soaking in a steaming hot bath.

And as a matter of fact, here is a sentence that captured my attention while I was relaxing in the tub one night:

Her knee-length shorts and crisp white shirt had the look of a British island colony.

Hm. This is the first time I have ever seen a British island colony compared to shorts and a shirt. The author probably meant (and expected readers to fill in?) something like this:

Her knee-length shorts and crisp white shirt gave her the look of a resident of a British island colony.

Or,

Dressed in knee-length shorts and a crisp white shirt, she looked like a resident of a British island colony.

Please understand that this isn’t intended to criticize the author, but to offer examples of common hazards all writers (and editors) face. It’s hard to capture thoughts and images in writing. I hope that this blog makes it a little easier.

Cheers,

Tara Treasurefield
Tara’s Writing Studio

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About 123clear

I translate foggy information into plain English.
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